I think I've fallen out of love with my dream job...

Careershifter question

By Anonymous on 16 July 2007 at 00:00

What's your personal and career background? 
I currently work for a large, well-respected, and fantastic charity as a Major Gifts Fundraiser and Celebrity Officer – in which I try to secure/maintain celebrity support for a range of projects across an organisation. I feel to some extent that I have a job that a lot of people on your website would love. It’s a job that ‘makes a difference’ – it involves a certain element of glamour and excitement I guess, and the people across the organisation are passionate and inspiring. But I don’t think that it’s what I want to do. I came to fundraising as I’m sure a lot of people do, wanting to do a job that made a difference, and I still do, but I don’t think this is the way. I have worked in this area for over 31/2 years now and have worked in a number of roles in different organisations. I’m currently covering a maternity contract and accordingly started to look for my next position as I do not feel there is a great deal of scope for progression in my current role. I am being invited to interview for some fantastic charities – in great positions. A year ago I would have thought them my dream jobs – but although part of me is pleased I’m getting closer to the place I thought I wanted to be, I have a niggling feeling that it isn’t the right place anymore. I have worked for 31/2 years in roles that weren’t perfect or my dream job in order to get here, so perhaps it could be that which has made me slightly disillusioned, and slightly weary but I know that when the ‘dream job’ came up I didn’t feel the excitement I should have done. I actually felt a little disappointed that it might mean doing more of the same, and I find it increasingly difficult to see where I want to be beyond this moment in this area.

What's your current work situation?
The bottom line for me is that at this moment I seem to have lost the passion for it – I’ve also been offered the chance to do some voluntary work overseas as a fundraiser and whilst I think it could be a wonderful experience, deep down I know it isn’t what I want to do anymore. People around me keep telling me to stick it out or to go to the interview and see if the job actually does inspire me when I get there – but then I’m worried that I might take it and I’m not sure I want to. I’m very worried about making a wrong decision – I’ve never not worked, or just temped or really taken any time out, and I have a tendency to compare and compete with everybody around me so I’m scared of taking a step back, but I’m also worried about starting something that I’m not really passionate about and continuing further down a road I’m not certain of. I’ve been given the opportunity to live abroad for a few months – to live and to study French – Which is in no way a career move, and seems indulgent and a huge tangent but I’m tempted to, because I think if I don’t take a step back it’ll be hard for me to make a decision based on what I want rather than what my experience and the expense of living in London will allow me to - although I'm sure it looks like running away! Family and friends think I'm nuts for walking away from a position which looks like my dream job, but I just don't want to risk taking something I'm uncertain of and regretting it later.

Where ideally would you like to be in twelve month's time?
I have for the last year and a half become increasingly interested in working in CSR – most likely within corporate communications and feel that this would be an area that would enable me to work somewhere dynamic, in an exciting area of development, that would allow me to indulge my creative side and my need to write, whilst holding on to the ethical values that led me to a career in the not –for-profit sector in the first place.

But again, I don’t want to rush into anything. I’ve identified a CSR communications consultancy that are looking for writers/researchers and whilst I don’t want to apply for a full-time position, have thought I will ask for a week’s work experience and enquire as to the possibility of undertaking small writing/research projects for them (for free) whilst I was away – if I went away – so I could start to get a better feel for the area and also to see the reality of the work.

Where are you currently most stuck?
Fear of taking a step back or in the wrong direction again. I've never not worked in a job that wasn't relevant to my career - only I'm not sure how much thought or assessment I ever really gave it. I'm also worried that taking time out is running away and an indulgence, and I guess a tiny bit that sees it as failure to get it right. But maybe that's just an annoying competitive streak!